They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
