$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Also, beer. Big fan.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize