I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
