i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
