he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I did not marry a roomba.
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