do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
