Having a random hookup so left but love u
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
