i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
