I'm going to rape someone's good day.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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