Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize