i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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