Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
