i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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