Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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