You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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