Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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