I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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