Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
