the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
