So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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