I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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