phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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