Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
