why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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