Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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