Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
