what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
