Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
