Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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