wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
