Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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