As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Everyone says I win the strip club
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize