Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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