he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
