Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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