yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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