Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
