she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Never underestimate the power of titties
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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