I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
