So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We have started to decorate penises.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
