party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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