I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
