After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
