Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Sorry my hands just texted you
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize