Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
