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I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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