8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
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