I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
