was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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