did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
