I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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