I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
