She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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