Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
