I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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