Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
