It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize