remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
