my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
