remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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